It all started on my way home from work....
(Doodly-doot, doodly-doot, doodly-doot)
How it was supposed to go:
Leave work at precisely 5:00 p.m.
Arrive in McKinney at 5:30.
Pick up Abby Pea at Claire's at 5:35.
Pick up Anne Pea at Hannah's at 5:45.
Get home to let dogs out and let Abby change by 5:50.
Leave house at 6:05 to take Abby to dance.
Arrive back home at 6:25 to Anne Pea supervising the dogs.
Begin dinner and live happily ever after (or at least until Abby must be picked up at 8:30).
How it *REALLY* went:
Leave work at precisely 5:00 p.m.
Arrive in McKinney at 5:30.
Pick up Abby Pea at Claire's at 5:35.
Drive around Hannah's neighborhood for 20 minutes whilst calling Anne Pea 15 times, leaving one voice mail.
Pass Hannah's house six times without knowing it.
Lecture Abby Pea (she's the one in the car with me) about how this is the reason to answer the phone when Mom Pea calls. Always.
Leave Anne Pea to annoy Hannah's family for a while.
Arrive home at 5:55 and have ten minutes to let the dogs out and let Abby change.
Actually watch both dogs do their duty, or doodie. This is important for later in the story. Meanwhile, receive call from Anne Pea explaining new phone is broken and no calls or texts can go in or out.
Leave house at 6:10 to drive like Danica Pea-atrick to the dance studio.
Throw oldest pea out of the car (she rolls really well from a car moving at 45 mph) in the parking lot as not to be late to class.
Head back to pick up Anne Pea while realizing I'm running on fumes (driving around a neighborhood for an unplanned 20 minutes has ruined my plan to drive to work on fumes the next morning and get gas at lunch at the last possible minute; so I hate pumping gas, sue me).
Pick up Anne Pea.
Proceed to berate her all the way home for not thinking to call from another phone sooner (there's a 98% chance friend has a phone, too) and/or waiting outside friend pea's house. (Hello?!? I drove by there six times! I would have seen you!)
Arrive back at the house and walk into a garbage dump. Literally.
Dogs decided while I was gone for less than 20 minutes that it would be a terrific time to inspect the bottom of the garbage can. And everything in between them and the bottom of the can on the way down.
Did I mention one of them pea-ooped in the floor? Icing on the garbage?
Yell, curse, and basically have a full on Tourette syndrome breakdown (flailing and kicking the air were optional but complimentary).
Pick up garbage with Anne Pea while discussing the probability of humane euthanasia (I think I could pay our vet enough money; Teddy's lived quite a long, full life after all. Georgia, well, it was good while it lasted.)
Get a phone call from King Pea after calming down a bit. Explain entire story behind dogs' impending deaths. Get asked why all phone calls from me are negative and all include "bitching." (It's called venting, duh.)
As of today, I have reconsidered. The dogs have been spared. This time....
Our ragamuffin, Teddy. He needs a haircut! And a bath. (He's kind of stinky.)
Abby Pea and Georgia. Don't be fooled by that sweet, sad looking face. She's a brat! And so is Georgia! ;)
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