Wednesday, March 7, 2012

runner pea

I am officially mad at myself for my six month hiatus from running that ended in January. I have finally gone back up to three miles, but admittedly, I still walk part of my course. (Did I mention half a mile is uphill?)


Yesterday as I ran/walked, I was feeling a bit beat down because I don't feel as strong as I used to. That's how I've been feeling in life lately, too.


Life is sucking right now for various and somewhat small reasons. I know I'm blessed. I am incredibly thankful for my healthy family, my long-lasting marriage, our full tummies and the roof over our heads. I would guess we are more fortunate than about 80% of the world's population. Maybe more.


But these little things are getting to me because it seems that no matter how hard Jon and I work, no matter how hard we try, we can't seem to get *life* right. We've screwed up. Even when we were intending to make things better for us all.


Back to my run yesterday...I was praying for these *things* and feeling pretty yucky emotionally. I apologized for everything I've put my girlies through. All of our ups and downs; they deserve so much more than Jon an I have ever been able to provide. And it dawned on me at some point that, yes, running is somewhat about winning and losing. But, more importantly, the only way you can fail at it is if you quit.


I think we have to apply this to life. It's probably why God brought it to my attention yesterday. Yes, I may walk or fall or cramp or puke while I run. But, I am determined not to stop. Because when I quit, I have truly failed. I'm not giving up on trying to make our lives better either.


P.S. I wrote this a few days ago and had it sitting unpublished. I was trying to decide how to end it; how to explain what I've been feeling the last couple of months or so. There are so many things up in the air right now, but we are so close to being grounded. I have many things to do and this month is bringing many changes. Keep our G.G. Pea in your prayers still. She has a long road of healing ahead. Also, pray for my girlie peas! They have busy, busy lives and sometimes they just need to...be.


And...the Pea-enprase Family is running the Big D 5K in April! (Hence, the running!) These are our pics from the last couple years. Our little team doubles every year, so I don't know what the heck we're going to do next year! 



Anne Pea and Queen Pea before the 2011 race. I was so proud of my little pea! Of course, she smoked her momma (I found out two days after this that I had strep throat; it did explain the 40+ minute time!). She would have beat me anyway!


We decided to wear cute socks! I wonder if King Pea will wear them this year?


This was my first ever 5K, the 2010 Big D! I ran by myself, but my Tina Pea was there to take my pic and meet me at the finish line! (And drive me there. I would totally get lost in downtown Dallas! Especially then since we didn't live in the area! Thanks, T!)