runner pea

I am officially mad at myself for my six month hiatus from running that ended in January. I have finally gone back up to three miles, but admittedly, I still walk part of my course. (Did I mention half a mile is uphill?)


Yesterday as I ran/walked, I was feeling a bit beat down because I don't feel as strong as I used to. That's how I've been feeling in life lately, too.


Life is sucking right now for various and somewhat small reasons. I know I'm blessed. I am incredibly thankful for my healthy family, my long-lasting marriage, our full tummies and the roof over our heads. I would guess we are more fortunate than about 80% of the world's population. Maybe more.


But these little things are getting to me because it seems that no matter how hard Jon and I work, no matter how hard we try, we can't seem to get *life* right. We've screwed up. Even when we were intending to make things better for us all.


Back to my run yesterday...I was praying for these *things* and feeling pretty yucky emotionally. I apologized for everything I've put my girlies through. All of our ups and downs; they deserve so much more than Jon an I have ever been able to provide. And it dawned on me at some point that, yes, running is somewhat about winning and losing. But, more importantly, the only way you can fail at it is if you quit.


I think we have to apply this to life. It's probably why God brought it to my attention yesterday. Yes, I may walk or fall or cramp or puke while I run. But, I am determined not to stop. Because when I quit, I have truly failed. I'm not giving up on trying to make our lives better either.


P.S. I wrote this a few days ago and had it sitting unpublished. I was trying to decide how to end it; how to explain what I've been feeling the last couple of months or so. There are so many things up in the air right now, but we are so close to being grounded. I have many things to do and this month is bringing many changes. Keep our G.G. Pea in your prayers still. She has a long road of healing ahead. Also, pray for my girlie peas! They have busy, busy lives and sometimes they just need to...be.


And...the Pea-enprase Family is running the Big D 5K in April! (Hence, the running!) These are our pics from the last couple years. Our little team doubles every year, so I don't know what the heck we're going to do next year! 

Anne Pea and Queen Pea before the 2011 race. I was so proud of my little pea! Of course, she smoked her momma (I found out two days after this that I had strep throat; it did explain the 40+ minute time!). She would have beat me anyway!

We decided to wear cute socks! I wonder if King Pea will wear them this year?

This was my first ever 5K, the 2010 Big D! I ran by myself, but my Tina Pea was there to take my pic and meet me at the finish line! (And drive me there. I would totally get lost in downtown Dallas! Especially then since we didn't live in the area! Thanks, T!)

can split ends just be "in?"

I need a haircut! But, who has the time? And, I don't even know what I would do to it. Is it time for a change? I'm not sure.


Don't get me wrong, I love my long hair. It's got just enough wave in it to where I don't really "do" my hair. I can braid it, bun it, or ponytail it. But, it needs quite a trim. I mean, even my split ends have split ends! 


So, I think we should make split ends trendy. Okay? Okay. 


And, if any one has any super cute ideas, I am open to them!

g.g. update

We spent a long weekend in Amarillo to see our family and especially Helen, our sweet G.G. As of Sunday when we left, she was back in ICU. She was having a hard time breathing (that's what six or more broken ribs will do), and couldn't breathe deeply enough to expel enough CO2. So, doctors performed a bronchoscopy and removed some of the fluid developing in her lungs.

She is now on a ventilator and is heavily sedated. That's not a terrible thing because she needed to be able to breathe deeper, but the broken ribs were making it too painful for her. Now she has the machine to do what she couldn't. She just cannot get pneumonia. We don't think she could survive it. 

Her heart was seemingly good. However, she has been experiencing periods of atrial fibrillation (a-fib). They thought they had it under control with medication, but it returned a couple of times on Sunday. We're on a "wait and see" for that. 

One more problem:  She has a blockage in her upper GI. That has become a secondary issue considering her respiratory problems. We were told Saturday that it is slowly softening and should pass soon. 

Our G.G. Pea is just covered in wires and tubes! They're just everywhere! Jon and I prayed over her before we left and are continuing to pray for her each day. King Pea is pretty upset. He is super close to his Grandma. They have quite the special bond! Keep our G.G. in your prayers! I will update you again soon!

Beautiful G.G. at her rocking 80th birthday last July!

G.G. with Uncle Brian and Aunt Kim! I love our pea family!

bah hum love

Valentine's Day is always a bit of a bummer for me. So is Mother's Day. Let's just say I get the short end of the stick when it comes to any day that causes a restaurant to be busy. I think I can actually count on two fingers how many times we've shared a Valentine's Day together. So, my work family were my my Valentines this year!


We planned a yummy Valentine's Day luncheon for all of our employees. We had Italian food and homemade desserts. Everything was red and pink (and the boss pea does not like pink)! It was so cool to brighten our dungeon up a bit! :)


And...I also got a Valentine's Day card from a boy! We have a comedian at our workplace and let's just say, he got my personality to a pea!


In case you can't read it, it says:

Life is like a box of chocolate...

...Filled with Vodka!

It will get you drunk and make you fat. Happy V.D. (Valentine's Day)

There is also a fat, drunk, dead Queen Pea drawn on there! I laughed all day!

P.S.  King Pea was a sweet pea and got me chocolates! Dark chocolates! My favorite! Valentine's Day may suck, but I love my hubby and I know he loves me! We'll have our own Valentine's Day soon!

g.g. pea prayers, please!

King Pea's sweet grandmother is in the hospital and could use your prayers. G.G. Pea fell early Wednesday morning, breaking six ribs, puncturing her lung, and was not found until Friday evening. She is in ICU and seems to be doing okay, considering what she's gone through. She's in good spirits, especially after she got her sports section and glasses so she can watch her "telly."


She's feeling weak and won't be in a regular room for a bit. She had a minor surgery to help with her collapsed lung. She's a trooper, though! She's got a long road ahead of her, but she's being prayed over and thought of every second of the day!


We Penprase Peas are going to visit her soon and will update you on her progress!

super whatever

Not really a fan of football. It's alright, but I'm not going to go all bananas over it or anything. But, I do like the commercials. And the yummy bloody mary I am consuming. I thought this would be a great time to catch everyone up on what has been going on in the Penprase pea pod. Well, there are only about two whole people in the world who read this, but they probably care about what our little peas are up to! 


Abby Pea is barely passing Spanish; and that's a good thing! Holy moly, she is trying to give this Queen a heart attack, I swear. She's still dancing up a storm, but her classes have been cut significantly since the beginning of the school year due to the difficulty of school. High school is no picnic and takes more work than she was prepared for! 


She has her ears double pierced now; that's the big change we've had in her little life lately. She's gotten to the stage where she is no longer affectionate towards us .a.t. .a.l.l. I have to steal kisses and hugs from her when she's not looking these days. I have gotten accustomed to kissing her on the back of her head on her hair. It usually smells nice. Other than that, she's an argumentative, sassy teenager. But, she's *my* argumentative, sassy teenager! God has definitely given her the gift of gab and debate and besides Spanish, she's super smart (Could she become a lawyer?! Egad!!). I keep trying to convince her to join the debate club, but she even argues with me about that! :)


Anne Pea is still my Sweet Nanner! She cleaned house for me the other day without us even asking her to do it. I am still wondering what it is she wants.... She's had a birthday party almost every weekend to attend. I just knew that Abby Pea would be our social butterfly, but Anne Pea is little Miss Pea-opularity! I love watching her interact with her amazing friends. She is the most accepting, loving teenager I have ever seen. God has given her a heart of gold and I love it!


On the piercing front, she's begging for double pierced ears, but I told her she had to wait until she was fourteen. So, guess what she wants to do for her birthday! As long as it's not a belly button ring, I can handle it! 


King Pea and I are hanging in there. We are praying for some direction and guidance. We are at some sort of crossroads we've never been at before. We feel there are some changes that have to happen in our lives, we just don't know where to go from here. It has nothing to do with our marriage. No divorces here! No worries for our relationship! It has taken me fifteen years to get him the way I want him! ;)


Just pray for direction for our family. We could use the extra prayer or two to give us wisdom about where God wants us to be. We will certainly pray for you as well! Love you all!

when girlie peas hurt

As Momma Peas, we deal with throw up, diarrhea, sniffles, cuts, bruises. We even deal with bullying, name-calling, and mean girls. So much we can deal with. So much we can handle. So much we take on with our kids. We fight their battles; we cry their tears. When they hurt; we hurt.

There is a family hurting more than I can even imagine. They are the Kelley family. I don't know them and they don't know me. But, I can't get them off my mind.

Jordan Kelley was a 15 year old honor student and athlete that altered my family's life, maybe forever. Last Saturday night, he chose to take his own life. He jumped off a balcony at hotel in downtown Dallas. He landed on the second floor, shattering his body, and glass.

The shattered glass hit my daughter. As one onlooker put it, "...we heard something crash and a chunk of glass fell almost hitting a young woman, about to go onto the escalators to the second floor...." That young woman was *my* young woman.

Anne was at the hotel that night for a friend's birthday. A posh downtown hotel stay, dessert at Wolfgang Puck's 360 degree, spinning, tower restaurant and a trip to the Dallas Museum of Art to see Jean Paul Gaultier's fashion collection; it should have been a 13th birthday fit for a pea princess.

I can't "fix" this and it sucks. I feel helpless and mad and sad and...hurt. Hurt for my baby. I should feel more hurt for the life that was lost, for the boy that felt he had no way out of his problems and for the family he left in shambles. But, like him, I am selfish. I want my baby to be okay. I don't want to see her in pain. I don't know how this story ends. I don't know when she will be "healed."

I am learning as I go. I am having to trust that God will heal in His time. I have no patience; so I am learning.

Pray for peace in the souls affected. Pray for comfort and strength. Pray that these peas who witnessed this suicide will witness God's love to others. Pray that something good rises from the shattered glass. Just pray for your babies. And tell them you love them right this second.